I was tagged about a week ago by Anna. Sorry it took me so long to do it. Hope you all enjoy!
Katie
8 Favorite TV Shows:
1- Smallville
2- Heroes
3- AFV
4- Any on the food network
5- Disney chanel: Great when Timothy will sit longer than 5 min.
6- Handy Manny and Mickey Mouse Club House: Way cute shows and educational for kids.
7- Biggest Looser: I watch this, and think that I wish I had the will power to do what they are doing to change there lives. I just have to do it. Right?
8- House
8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1- Gave Timothy a bath 3 times-He just loves to get into things he shouldn't.
2- 4 loads of laundry- It never ends. =(
3- Cleaned the Kitchen
4- Found Timothy trying to shave his face with Josh's electric razor. He will turn it on and "shave" his face. I'm just glad that the cover was on it. He's all ready buzzed part of his hair. Silly boy.
5- Cleaned 2 bathrooms.
6- Did Kindermusik with Timothy
7- Made dinner
8- Read my book
8 Things I Look Forward to:
1- Giving Timothy a brother or sister
2- All the new things that Timothy does every day
3- Learning more about Joseph Smith in church and in personal study
4- Being so rich that I can help other family members with school, getting out of dept, or just to watch them enjoy the money with their family.
5- Going to Europe: Don't know when that will happen, but it will some day.
6- When Josh is done with his MBA
7- Having my mom and dad back here in Utah. It's hard to have them so far away in Hong Kong.
8- Spending more time with my sister. She in an incredable woman. I hope that I can be half the person that she is.
8 Favorite Restaurants:
1- Sizzler
2- Olive Garden
3- Most any thing that my brother in-law cooks. He makes the best food ever!!!!!
Don't really go out to eat that much to fancy restaurants. Sorry.
8 Things I Wish For:
1- To have a new kitchen table
2- To have more motivation to do the things I want
3- To be on the Biggest Looser so I don't have any exuses not to excersize and to learn how to eat well.
4- Be the best example to my children that I can possably be.
5- Spend more time with my family near and far.
6- To have the money to finish our basement. Then I can have my own craft room and all of the supplies that I would ever want or need.
7- To be a great cook---want to learn to how and to have the energy to do it every night.
8- Become more humble.
9- To have reached the highest goal of this life. To be with our Father in Heaven and my family for all time.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Lizard Birth
I e-mailed this to a lot of you, but I couldn't resist putting it on my blog. Way funny. Enjoy! ;)
Lizard Birth
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!
Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her. (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know." she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience." I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do
with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted
to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what
looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing
a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress." I noted.
"It's breeched." my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad !" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet." I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe." he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze." his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d's sake).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc? A C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting." he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly." the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And
occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just . . . excited?" my wife offered.
"Exactly." the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just,that...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough." I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad." he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea!" my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!
Lizard Birth
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!
Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was something wrong with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her. (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know." she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience." I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do
with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted
to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what
looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing
a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress." I noted.
"It's breeched." my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad !" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet." I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe." he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze." his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d's sake).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc? A C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting." he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly." the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And
occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just . . . excited?" my wife offered.
"Exactly." the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just,that...I'm picturing you pulling on its...its...teeny little..." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough." I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad." he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea!" my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)